Free

FREE Dusty Springfield CD, FREE oven glove, FREE reindeer and FREE zing to death.

I had a lovely time. I’ll call you.

How far we’ve come

Daily Express front pages.

1st January 2008

1st January 2009

1st January 2010

 

Recipe for new year front page

 

1. Sydney Fireworks

2. “A Happy New Year to All Our Readers”

3. Something about percentage increases in stuff our readers care about

4. Celebrity box in the corner

5. Cheaper than last year, since we’re just recycling

 

I wonder if they’re alternating the “Happy New Year” font on purpose.

Happy Christmas

b3ta book of the dead

A quick note to say I’m also now co-writing a blog whose raison d'être is turning people into zombies. On the internet. The b3ta book of the dead, it’s called. Here’s one the other guy doing it made of me:

 

Aren’t I pretty?

Fat people & Maths

 

Also: Sorry none of the pictures work anymore. I really will fix it soon. One’s picture host breaking is not ideal when one’s blog has essentially become one’s gallery. If you’re particularly bothered about seeing them in the meantime you can get to them by copying their URL, pasting it into the address bar and pressing enter. Something about referrals.

All done.

YES. Absolutely NAILED letting my family down

Tiger Woods in the Wall Street Journal last week. Seriously.

I never use it but it’s nice to know it’s there.

The alternative to the Royal Mail:

The guy who came second just learnt the words to John Lennon's "Imagine"

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-ba

All screenshots taken from the first two minutes of last night’s episode of The One Show.

It’s the transitions Adrian finds hard, sometimes he has to move his face with his hands.

Da… dum… da… dum… da dum da dum dadumdadum

It’s terrorfyling good

Ambition:

To one day be in the position to say to someone, in a gruff voice, “you remind me of me”.

The worst thing about growing up is having to fill in forms

Are you thinking… what we’re thinking?

The next general election feels a bit like when Germany plays Argentina at the World Cup. Does there have to be a winner?

Rawr

A late night doodle.

I think this makes it seventeen posts without a paragraph of writing in a row. Go me!

Hello the internet, I made a lady

Took about four hours.

Political Policy Idea #6

Newspapers to exchange target markets, but maintain style, for one day a year.

Political Policy Idea #5

Sometimes, things other than the mind should be allowed to ‘boggle’.

Political Policy Idea #4

45 minute-long comedy programmes should actually make you laugh at least once. I’m looking at you, Michael McIntiresome’s Comedy Roadshow.